I often hear of couples who are considering "taking a break" from one another. They believe that perhaps if they give each other some time and space for a week or two, the issues that have been complicating their relationship will work themselves out and ultimately disappear. The hope is that they will realize how much they love one another other, decide not to lose lose what they have and run passionately back into each other's arms.
The problem is that couples who claim to be "on break" often communicate more than they did than when they were "officially a couple." They also fail to set "ground rules" for their hiatus. Are they permitted to talk to or go out with potential new love interests? Are they allowed to party with their friends and act as if they are truly single? Or are they supposed to sit home, night after night, and (pretend to?) feel miserable that they are apart?
If you are considering taking a break, here is what that means...
It means that during your "break" you:
- Don't talk face-to-face
- Don't talk over the phone
- Don't text one another
- Don't email one another
- Don't Instant Message one another
- Don't covertly stalk one another to keep appraised of the situation
- Don't inquire as to what your "on break" partner is doing, thinking, or saying
- Allow the other person to go out with friends and accept all that may mean or entail
In other words...you take a real break. This also means that for the next two weeks, you are not officially dating. It means if you want to go out to dinner with someone or talk to them or email them, it's cool, but you should not involve them in a love triangle. This is especially true if you have no intention of giving them a real chance. When you take a break, you run the risk of falling for someone else. Perhaps it will work as you had hoped and you find out that you really do miss your significant other. Either way - be FAIR!