If often takes many months or years into a relationship before passion begins to wane. When two people first meet and become physical, it is new, novel and often very exciting. But like with anything else in life, the more used to something we become and the more expected something is, the less novel and exciting we tend to find it to be. When physical passion and intimacy simply disappears in a relationship (from one or both partners), one of the following factors may be responsible:
- The couple engaged in sex and/or heavy petting too often and too early in the relationship and are either burned out on one another or the novelty has worn away.
- They may have simply lost attraction for one another.
- One or both partners has turned to pornography as a way to meet their physical wants, needs and desires. The more they turn to porn, the harder it will be for the other person to compete or to keep any type of passion alive. Porn stars are often physically beautiful (either naturally or via touch up photography), and engage in acts that become progressively more intense, provocative and animated. This can also lead either or both parties to engage in excessive masturbation and thus have little desire left for their partner.
- One or both partners may be having an affair and their focus and attention is on someone else.
- There could be something physically different with one or both parties. It could be a hormonal shift or any of one of dozens of reasons, both mental or physical.. A trip to your personal physician is always a good idea a few times a year anyway, so this might give you a reason to go.
A relationship needs all three types of love (Physical, Heartfelt and Friendship) as well as the five characteristics of a healthy relationships (Trust, Respect, Intimacy, Passion and Commitment) to have a real chance at lasting success. When physical passion wanes, it will immediately affect passion and intimacy and ultimately trust, respect and commitment.
When you experience a dramatic shift in passion, the first and most important thing to do is to have an honest discussion together about what you each are feeling and experiencing without pointing blame at any one person or reason. Quite often, several factors have combined to cause the change and sometimes it is correctable and sometimes it's not. Either way, the truth will set you free.
From my experience, when people lose passion for each other, they find a way to meet their needs in other ways...porn, affairs, excessive masturbation, etc. A marriage needs all 3 types of love, physical, heartfelt and friendship to have a great chance at lasting and the5 characteristics of a healthy relationship: Trust, Respect, Intimacy, Passion and Commitment. With no physical passion, Intimacy, Passion and ultimately trust will fade away.